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Oh, That's Punny!

1/11/2017

22 Comments

 

Example 1:

​OPHELIA      He hath, my lord, of late made many tenders*
                     Of his affection to me.

LORD POLONIUS    Affection! pooh! you speak like a green girl,
                     Unsifted in such perilous circumstance.
                     Do you believe his tenders,** as you call them?

OPHELIA    I do not know, my lord, what I should think.
LORD POLONIUS Marry, I'll teach you: think yourself a baby;
                   That you have ta'en these tenders*** for true pay,
                   Which are not sterling. Tender**** yourself more dearly;
                   Or--not to crack the wind of the poor phrase,
                   Running it thus--you'll tender***** me a fool. (Hamlet 1. 3. 99-109)

* = tokens (possibly connoting guestures and gifts that convey tender feelings)
** = a formal offer or contract (as a marriage proposal)
*** = something, esp money, used as an official medium of payment (which means it is not real money) 
​**** = (verb) to offer something officially or formally (Polonius demands Ophelia to play hard to get.) 
​***** = (verb) to bring something (like a bastard)

In addition, "green" in line 3 also means "tender." But, for once, Shakespeare checked himself from "out-punning" himself.  



Example 2:
This is what Roxanne told me.

A: Why did the football coach shake the vending machine?
B: Because he wanted his quarter back!

Example 3: 
"I see" said the blind man as he picked up his hammer and saw.
The mute man picked up his wheel and spoke.
The deaf man moved his cattle and herd.

Example 4:
        I have a sin of fear, that when I have spun
             My last  thread, I shall perish on the shore;
        Bug swear by Thy self, that at my death Thy Son
             Shall shine as he shines now, and heretofore;
                  And, having done that, Thou has done;
                       I fear no more.
Above is a stanza from John Donne's "A Hymn to God the Father." Which word is used as a pun?



22 Comments
Valeria Salinas
1/15/2017 20:14:56

My examples of puns:
- I really wanted a camouflage shirt, but I couldn't find one.
- How do trains drink? They chug.
-How do fish keep up with what's going on? They listen to the current news.

Reply
Kay
1/16/2017 12:37:26

The first one is a conceptual pun. I love it!

Reply
Luis Villanueva 1-2A
2/16/2017 19:57:56

The camouflage pun really made me laugh that is a very good one. I have an example of one: Why did the vacuum cleaner stop working ? because it sucks. Another one is: I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.

Reply
Anthony Arredondo
1/15/2017 21:43:04

-What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator!
-He bought a donkey because he thought he might get a kick out of it.

Reply
Kay
1/16/2017 12:39:37

What did a bird say after buying a lipstick at an HEB?
Put that on my bill.

Reply
April Campos
1/16/2017 12:34:04

My shakespeare Pun:

-Pencils confused him. 2B or not 2B?

Reply
Kay
1/16/2017 12:36:13

It is always 2B, April.
Long Live the Youth!

Reply
Samantha Garza
1/17/2017 20:27:23

What did one plant say to another? What's stomata?

Reply
Raquel Barboza
1/17/2017 21:00:08

What do you call a belt made of clocks?
- A waist of time

Reply
Raquel B.
2/17/2017 17:39:53

I was going to make a joke about birds but it must be ileagle
What do you call someone with no body and a nose? Nobody knows
Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven eight nine

Reply
Abigail Garza
2/24/2017 08:53:16

I enjoyed this pun it was quite funny.

Reply
Andrea Gaytan
1/22/2017 01:28:52

One of my favorite puns is;
Why don't some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don't work out.

Reply
Luis Villanueva 1-2A
2/12/2017 19:02:18

Puns
1. I'd tell you a chemistry joke, but I know I wouldn't get a reaction.
2. Why don't programmers enjoy nature? There are too many bugs.

Reply
Melissa Menchaca 1/2A
2/16/2017 23:07:52

What did one atom say to the other?
- You're the bomb.

Reply
Adaylin Alvarez
2/13/2017 03:46:23

A couple arrives at a steakhouse, one says, "Oh, I'm a vegan." The other responds, "I completely forgot, lettuce go somewhere else."

Reply
Adaylin Alvarez
2/13/2017 03:56:41

2. This boy-gyn provided great womb service. (double meaning)
3. AJAX the soap is stronger than grease, AJAX the Greek soldier is stronger than Greece.
4. Why is Peter Pan always flying? Because he neverlands.
5. I was standing outside and someone complemented me by telling me I was outstanding.

Reply
Adaylin Alvarez
2/13/2017 03:58:22

Julying when you say June is over.

Melissa Menchaca 1/2A
2/16/2017 22:21:02

-You took a pizza my heart
-Whale you be mine?
-Careful his bark is worse than his bite!
-Want to here a pun, I shouldn't say it it's too punny.

Reply
Melissa Menchaca 1/2A
2/16/2017 23:06:58

Why does Peter Pan always fail at punch lines?
- Because he never gets hooked.

Reply
Pedro Polanco
2/21/2017 14:36:39

What do you call a mute and absent student?
-Never hear

Reply
Pedro Polanco
3/30/2017 21:27:38

In example 4, the stanza written by John Donne he uses the word "Son" instead of sun but he can possibly be referencing his actual child OR the literal Sun.

Reply
Roxanne Flores
4/3/2017 22:18:28

There was a kidnapping at school today....

Its ok though...

He woke up

Reply



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